Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
