Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
