Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
