I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
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