My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
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