How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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