tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
i believe in u and ur pee
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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