Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
