idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I want to make a zoo with you.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
