i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this just has baby written all over it
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
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