Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
