no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
