Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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