I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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