I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Mom said you looked used
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize