David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
