She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I will be naked everywhere
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
