your parents love me but you hate me
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
