I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
