she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
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