I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
