Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
