Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
