just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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