Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
