I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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