Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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