You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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