I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
