so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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