My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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