who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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