no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
