So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
