You're so nebulous sometimes
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
