Your mouth is God's brothel.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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