Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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