I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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