it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize