Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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