You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
