Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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