At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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