i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
so much tequila, so little girl.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize