Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
