We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
she peed on how many people?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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