Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
