just survived the first fart of the relationship.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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