you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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