Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
