I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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