I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
