His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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