you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
