i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
