I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
