I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
