I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
