his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
