thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
