My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
