Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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