sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
