I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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