can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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