He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize