windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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