Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
