Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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