Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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