Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
