literally had 100 drinks last night.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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