How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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