Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
